GentleSoul Arts

Living a Creative Life


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Travel Excitement

I have a few drafts of travel adventures when I was young but work has gotten crazy busy.   I  may post them in future or scrap them all together.  Even if I’m not writing, I have been thinking that the enjoyment I’ve had in travelling outweighs the few problems and snags that have occurred.

I am excited now about my upcoming work trip.  I’m in single digits countdown and while it would be unrealistic to think I won’t have a few short moments of  sudden panic, I am genuinely excited.

I contacted a geocacher in the area and have made plans one evening after training to pick up some easier caches.  No bushwhacking, tree climbing or playing tunnel rat (like I’d ever go into a tunnel anyway!).   Just some simple skirts and I’ve solved a few puzzles to sign as well.

Then today scrolling through IG, I realized an art friend lives in the area.  She’s always hiking and posting photos so it should have clicked sooner.   I messaged her and yep, her AND another art friend lives there.  I’ve known them through social media for years so we’re planning on meeting another evening.

I’m kind of bummed I’m going to have to spend the day doing work stuff before I can hang out with friends.

Namaste.


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Travel Memory – Visiting my dad

When I was around 12, I would visit my dad and stepmom in Washington state.  I travelled alone, flying to Denver and switching planes, continuing on to Sea-Tac.  

I don’t remember having anxiety about travelling alone to my dad’s.  Being a minor, airport staff would help me making flight transitions and I never worried what would happen if I missed a flight.   This was well before 9-11 and the TSA checks so flying back then was a lot simpler.

I would stay with my dad during the summer, and fly back home to get ready to back to school. I had my 13th birthday there, with a huge Filipino feast.  No matter how much I try, I can’t make pancit like my stepmom.

I enjoyed these trips and visiting my family in the Pacific Northwest.  Nothing bad or stressful happened, other than the fact as I was heading home meant the summer was over.

Namaste


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Replacing Anxiety with Excitment

Sorry about my absence… I’ve been getting over a head cold and spent much of the last week resting.

In a few weeks I’ll be traveling for work.  My mom and I never traveled much when I was a kid so I never developed wanderlust or excitement to discover new places.  I joined Geocaching nearly 7 years ago, hoping that would inspire me to travel more and purposely travel. It really hasn’t.  All of my geocache finds have been in one state.

But, to help reframe my anxiety for my upcoming business trip, I thought I would blog about past travel experiences.  I’ll stay focused on the good, while acknowledging the bad experiences that have happened were not detrimental to me in any way.

I’m trying to recollect what my first travel memory was.  I can’t think of really any travelling until I was in my pre-teens.   My first airplane trip was to visit my mom’s friend in Independence Missouri.  We must have flown into Kansas City and I don’t remember changing planes. Maybe we had a short layover.  What I remember the most is my mom telling me to be quiet. I don’t recall being scared, but I must have been nervous. As a child, I was a chatterbox when I was nervous.

Our visit was short.  Just the weekend and I don’t remember the flight back home.   My mom and her friend caught up while me and her friend’s children, both older than me, played board games in the typical late 70’s basement rec room.   I also discovered Cup-a- Soup and thought it was one of the best tasting things I’d ever experienced.

Over all, I guess this trip was rather uneventful and unmemorable, even if it was out of the ordinary for my family.     My next trip by plane memory, I’ll be travelling alone.

Namaste.


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Comfort Zone Edges

Yesterday I did some things outside of my comfort zone.  I travelled across town to an area I’m unfamiliar with to meet with a geocachers group.  I’m uncomfortable talking to people I don’t know or don’t know well, and initiating a conversation is torture.

But I did initiate a conversation, or tried to, with one person and was told multiple times “I have no idea what you’re even saying”.  I’ve talked to this person at a few previous events and everything was pleasant enough.   After this encounter, I was annoyed, frustrated and honestly have no intention of engaging with them again. Ever.

These emotions carried with me on the rest of my day.   As I was telling my husband something, I was interrupted so I shut down.  He asked me to continue what I was saying but I didn’t want to.  I was on the verge of eruption.  I had asked a question multiple times at the geocaching event, but no one answered.   When I mentioned that, the attempted conversation and the interruption to my husband and how frustrated I am with being ignored or talked over, he went into “fixer” mode.  You need to speak up for yourself, and say “Excuse me but I wasn’t finished with what I was saying…”   How the hell is that going to work when I’m interrupted and talked over?   I would have thought out of everyone in my life, he would be the most understanding of how difficult it is for me to speak to others in general, and have been supportive instead of mansplaining how I need to handle it.

I push the edges of my comfort zone only to have them reinforced.