GentleSoul Arts

Living a Creative Life


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Hungry Vs Habit

The other day my mother-in-law was in town running errands, so in the evening after I came home from work we all went out for dinner.

I was fairly hungry at dinner and ate way more than I should have. I’ve been working on mindfully eating so I was aware of my indulgence and embraced it.

The next morning when I woke up, I was not hungry but started my normal routine of making coffee and toast.    Luckily my brain was awake enough to realize what was happening.

Brain: Why are you making toast? You’re so NOT hungry!  Why don’t you wait until you’re actually hungry to eat

Me: Well, I just usually make toast when I wake up.  It’s a habit.

Brain: But you’re NOT hungry right now.

Me: You’re right.  I’ll take some peanut butter crackers to work and I’ll eat them when I am hungry.   And I’ll take my left overs from dinner for lunch.

Yes, there were leftovers even after eating an enormous amounts of food.  American portion sizes are ridiculous.

Anyway… I caught myself in an eating pattern out of habit rather than out of hunger.   It’s a small victory although I did mindfully mindless eat a whole small (4″) chocolate cream pie while watching Avengers: Age of Ultron.  Today I have a geocaching group meet up at one of my favorite restaurants.  I’m not hungry right now and I don’t expect to be hungry at the restaurant.    Being aware right now is a huge accomplishment.

Doing daily yoga has helped with being aware and connected in the moment but I’ll save that for another post.

Namaste.


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Use it or Lose It

Use it or lose it…

I’m not referring to the paint tubes I still want to go through and ditch the duds.   I’m talking my body.

I signed up for Dedicate, 30 day yoga journey with Adriene. Today is day 4 (Jan 1st was a Welcome Day).  The yoga sessions are gentle, and mindful.  There’s opportunity for modifications.  It’s all very self-centered, meaning I’m constantly checking my awareness of my body and how does this feel, can I move deeper or is this my limit for today.

After Day 1 I was kinda sore but not bad.  This morning, the bottoms of my heels hurt as I was laying in bed.  My butt was cramping as I was driving home from my cousin’s birthday get together last night.   My body is screaming  “What The Actual F*&K!!”

I think about how my mom was at my age, and how different we are.  I can sit on the floor and play with the corgis, no problem.  I lay on the floor with them when they’re in a chill mood sometimes.   My mom never sat on the floor. “I couldn’t get back up”   She had back problems, degenerative disk disorder, so I know there was pain.  But she never moved for the sake of moving.   On the weekends she’d “go shopping” (browsing) at thrift stores or Walmart.  That was the extent of her exercise.  No daily walking, particularly after she retired. She couldn’t do it.   Her mindset was “I can’t”.   I see myself falling into it at times, but I’m able to recognize it and think “is this me or my mom speaking through me?”

I wonder if Mom had started a practice of walking around the block, or at least up and down the street for 30 minutes regularly if she may still be around.

I’m going to start moving more and keep moving.  I may be sore, but it won’t stop me.