GentleSoul Arts

Living a Creative Life

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Thankful Thursday 10/27/22

  • Learning to spin on a spinning wheel
  • Pocket rocks
  • A man basking in the sunlight at a bus stop
  • Finding a new ethnic grocery store
  • Setting up the trainer
  • Getting closer to the crows
  • Moving inward

I’m struggling. This year has felt heavy. There have been some good parts but overall, everything feels off. I’ll make a note on my planner to write my Thankful Thursday consistently to help shift my mindset. I’ve learned that I’m an avoidant personality, so when I’m stressed I disappear. I’m working playing at identifying and naming what triggers my avoidance. There’s a lot to sort out.

Memory Unlock / Thankful Thursday

While taking a break at work, I enjoyed some milk tea with a biscotti my husband bought me from a local bakery. The cookie reminded me of when in middle school, I made paximadia (greek anise biscotti) for either Latin Club or a class that was studying different cultures. I was deep into my Greek Mythology phase at this time so it was very natural I’d find a Greek recipe for the event.

I remember how time-consuming the process was. I had baked before but nothing this complex. Maybe just 3 ingredient peanut butter cookies. Nothing that required two baking times. I remember how hard the cookies were. I thought they were ruined. I had never had biscotti before so I didn’t quite know what to expect. I took them to the event, but I can’t recall if they were a hit or not. I don’t think anise flavor was very popular with 12-13yr olds. I vaguely feel like they were better received than I had expected they would be.

I’m don’t remember if my mom liked the cookies or not. She was a big coffee drinker so I would expect she may have enjoyed them with her coffee. I just don’t remember.

I’ll write in my journal an ‘artist date’ idea of making paximadia now 40 years later and see if the experience triggers any more memories.

I guess since it is a Thursday, I should get back into the habit of doing my Thankful Thursday posts. I know it’s been a while.

I am thankful for:

  • Memories unlocked
  • Cycles
  • Tackling difficult projects
  • Inspirational books
  • Angel numbers everywhere

A Creative Life

I’m still feeling out of sorts (it’s been a long few months) but I had an ‘ah-ha’ moment earlier. I’m looking at ‘creativity’ as something to produce a tangible product. Something to put in my Etsy shop (I have one but I’ve never finished setting it up) or a service to offer. This morning as I was looking through my bookcase I noticed the Ernest Holmes book Creative Mind. I bought it while going through a local church’s Science of Mind classes. I was expecting an artistic book and was disappointed it turned out to be about spiritual law and connecting with Source. I’m really drawn to New Thought but I spiral around it, or maybe orbit around it is a better term? I come close, but then drift away and come back, drift away. I’ve done that with my artistic projects as well.

What if I use the word Artistic for drawing, painting, knitting, and the word Creative for connecting with Source, Secret Messages, looking for Hope and Joy in my daily activities? That makes a HUGE difference in my mindset.

I can be creative without being artistic. The pressure is off. I already feel like a weight has been lifted.

Ghosting Life

I haven’t felt like writing, or really doing much of anything lately. I thought it was seasonal and I’d feel better once the days became longer. I have moments when I feel okay. Only moments.

I’ve deleted some of my social media – I should update that here too. Everything feels overwhelming. Nothing I could do would really matter in the grand scheme of things. I follow my routine. Wake up, care for the pets, go to work, come home, care for the pets, go to bed. Rinse and repeat. If I didn’t have the pets I’d spend as much time as I could sleeping. A way to escape.

I’m sure I’ll feel better eventually. It’s like a carousel where the horses move up and down, up and down. Right now I’m in a down phase. No need for alarm, it’ll cycle through like it always does.

Urban Sketching

I had a busy weekend with a couple of Urban Sketching events. One in Tulsa, which is about a 2-hour drive, to sketch the Art Deco architecture of the downtown area. My husband went with me, and we enjoyed the road trip although the morning was cold and windy. I sketched outside as long as I could, then went inside the meeting area to watercolor my work.

E 6th ST and S Cincinnati Ave – Tulsa Oklahoma

The next day, the Oklahoma City Urban Sketchers met in downtown OKC. It was an afternoon event, so much warmer but just as windy. I decided to sketch the view outside the window of the reading room at Oklahoma Contemporary. I made a game out of counting which color the trolley would be.

NW 11th and N Broadway Ave OKC

As I was journalling about my weekend, it dawned on me, I don’t really enjoy urban sketching. I like visual journalling, but there’s usually a connection to my life somehow. I’ll sketch a meal, or a favorite object. Sketching the view outside of the hotel window when I was in South Carolina for a business event had meaning since that was my first time there. That building in Tulsa has no meaning to me. It was just an interesting object at the time. I should have sketched the banh mi I had for lunch, but I was too ravenous and my hands were still sore from the cold.

I’m surprised I feel a bit bad about not enjoying it. Maybe it’s a matter of finding a style of sketching I enjoy. Maybe I just need to practice buildings and perspective of downtown cityscapes. Maybe I need to find a different media than ink & watercolor.

Maybe I’m overthinking it.