GentleSoul Arts

Living a Creative Life

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Truth and Delusion

Warning Signs Everywhere

I began pulling Oracle cards this year, to give me a weekly and daily focus. I’ve added Faery Oracle cards into the mix lately as a bit of additional guidance.

This week my Faery Oracle card is G. Hobyah. He thrives on our fear, and grows stronger until we face the truth.


My Divine Abundance Oracle card is Delusion, and speaks to Intention without Surrender.

That’s a lot to digest for the week. I know I fear things that have no substance (Thanks Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Maybe the G in G. Hobyah stands for GAD) but working Delusion into it all. Oh, so much to unpack.

delusion is a belief that is clearly false

Time to face fears and falsehoods I tell myself

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I’m going to try something new. I really abhor strict schedules but I need structure. So I’m going to structure my social media endeavors. I thought about ditching everything and concentrating just on the blog. I had disconnected all my social media apps so that no one is notified when I post. That sort of defeats the purpose. I want to connect but also fear being noticed. Yay Gemini with Cancer Rising and a moon in Cancer.

I’ve reconnected my accounts to push a notification when I publish here. I’ll once a week on my blog (maybe twice). I’ll post twice a week on TikTok. I created a podcast which will go live mid-March and publish those on Wednesdays. I’ll start uploading sketchbook flip throughs on my art YouTube channel. Instagram is a quick and easy post so I’ll do those throughout the week but I’m giving up on trying to appease the mighty algorithm.

My mantra going forward is “Have Fun with it”

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Back to Morning Pages

I have a love/hate relationship with Morning Pages, the Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way required daily 3 pages of brain dumping. They turn into a bitch-fest, which I really try to avoid so after a few weeks of consistant writing, I rip everything out of the journal and burn it. Or shred it.

Fact is I don’t want this stuff around after I’m dead for my family to read.

But sometimes “talking to myself on paper” makes sense. Maybe it’s Divine Guidance asking the questions, sometimes it’s easier to write than try to work things out in my head. I haven’t felt very creative lately. I draw and practice potraits from Sktchy muses but nothing is original. Nothing that I could feel comfortable selling, if that’s where it leads. It’s technique practice, which is great but I feel the need to get work done on a canvas, or watercolor paper. Something I can display or submit to a show.

I’ve been trying to do daily check ins on TikTok. I started following other artists in a #10KArtist movement. I don’t ever expect to have 10K followers. Right now 1000 seems unatainable. I don’t care about followers, I do crave connections.

That brings me back to my morning pages topic. I was thinking about few connections we have, and relying towards social media doesn’t feel like the answer. I’ve met some fun people online, and follow people I could easily hang out with or chat over coffee.

I don’t think I would rely on them if I was in a dire situation and needed help. Where do you find such connections?

Guess that will be something I work out in tomorrow’s morning pages.

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Oh Bloggy Blog

The last week has been busy. Beginning December 1st I started my friend’s “Present To” prompts. (Check out @Secretmessagesociety on Instagram) My first word was TRY. So I had been thinking about making a TikTok video, and it seems the prefect time to give it a try.

I’ve discovered trying to convey my thoughts in 60 seconds or less is a challenge. I don’t want to post more than 1 video a day, really. Maybe two, a challenge or duet, and then a more serious ‘what’s on my mind’ one. Then last night it dawned on me, I can use my blog in tandem with my Tik Tok posts.

Today I pulled the prompt Invite. Ooh, this is a loaded one. When I think of invite, I think of a party invitation and I quit having parties 15 or so years ago. The last party I tried to throw myself (35th birthday, I believe) no one showed. They RSVP’d they would be there, then closer to the date things would come up. I get it, but it was a really casual come and go thing. Nothing to start or end at a specific time, or meeting a restaurant or pavillion. So I quit celebrating and became more of an introvert than I already was.

After some thought about this prompt I realized I don’t have to extend an invitation to others, but to myself. I invite myself to find joy in every day things. I can invite myself to a moment of stillness in a busy day. I can invite myself to complement a stranger. I can invite myself to seek unity and love instead of division and fear.

What will you invite to yourself today?

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Amazfit Zenbuds – An Honest Review

This is a not a sponsored review. I backed the Zenbuds IndieGoGo project in June because I’ve used foam ear plugs for decades to block out my husband snoring. He now has a CPAP machine, but I’ve gotten used to sleeping with ear plugs. He watches movies in the living room, and the TV and speakers are on the other side of the wall from the bed. So technically, I’m close to the speakers in the bedroom laying in bed than he is sitting across the living room on the couch.

First Impressions:

The design of the case & earbuds are really nice. The twist to open case was difficult at first. I have slight arthritis in my hands, and someone with more severe arthritis might have a problem opening the case.

The case twists to open

I’ve noticed a lot of reviews complaining that they couldn’t find the app to connect the earbuds. There’s a QR scan code in the instruction booklet and it was easy to install. Creating my account was a challenge. The Captcha code is small neon green numbers with black spots and lines on a light blue background. I couldn’t zoom in to see the numbers and there was no way I could make out the neon green characters. I decided to screen shot the captcha code, zoomed in on the screenshot photo and it was much easier to see.

Then I set out to connect the earbuds. The app couldn’t find them. Nothing. So I charged the earbuds and case for a few hours and tried again. The 2nd time they connected quickly. I am getting a random “Bluetooth Error, Please restart Boothtooth” when I’m not using the earbuds so I don’t know what the app is trying to do.

Testing at Bedtime:

The earbuds come installed with the “medium” tips and includes extra small, small and large ones so you can find what best fits your ear. I’m still trying to figure out which ones fit, or how the earbuds are supposed to fit. Looking at photos online, some are tilted more up, while others are horizontal.

Variety of sizes to find the perfect fit, but none work for me.

When it comes to noise blocking, these fail me. Maybe it’s because I haven’t figured out the correct fit or earpiece size. I can switch off the lamp on my night stand and hear the “click” as loud as if I weren’t wearing earbuds. So when my husband is watching movies in the living room, there’s no help.

The Music Library of sleep sounds is nice. I’ve been listening to the waves, at around 45% to help block out the sounds of the TV or my cat meowing. I’ve downloaded a few of the additional sounds, like Whale Song but I haven’t tried them.

I’ve tried them 4 nights in a row and have tended up taking them out & switching for my trusty Mack’s Ultra Soft Foams after about 2 1/2 hours. I have the sleep sounds to turn off when I fall asleep but I guess once that happens, sounds wake me up. I’m going to have to take a break from them for a few days to get a couple of nights of solid sleep, then I’ll try them with the sounds going all night.

I’d really like to wear them all night to see how the alarm feature works. I’ll try again this weekend, or during a nap.

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Another Sword

This morning I pulled the Knight of Swords. Big changes, and be ready.

I got a lot accomplished this weekend. Bike rides, cleaning, it was busy but I felt really good. Then I checked the Informed Delivery for today’s mail. Credit collections for an MRI my son had last year after The Events of June 2019. Insurance denied it and workers comp hasn’t paid any of the medical bills. So I’m stressing, and trying to not fall into the pit of despair again.

I don’t want to ask for help because it means I couldn’t handle things. Especially when it comes to money. I try to remind myself it’s my son’s bill, not mine but even though he’s an adult, he’s my medical responsiblilty until he’s 26. HE needs to take care of it. Does he even know what he needs to do? Do I dip into my 401k? It IS a medical expense but I thought workers comp was handling the bills as part of the settlement. Again this is my son’s situation, not mine. So why do I feel responsible?

So tonight I’ll take another bike ride and clean some more.

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Is it Thursday? I think it’s Thursday.

The US is still a dumpster fire and I’m trying to not fall into the Pit of Despair. This week has been rough. Well, rougher than normal. Normal? Ugh.

I’ve started pulling a tarot card in the mornings to mediate upon, and try to find secrets regarding it. There were 4 sword cards pulled on consecutive days. Swords corespond to the element of Air and the intellect. I’ve been trying to think my way into feeling more upbeat, without much luck. I’ve pulled wands for the last 2 days, coresponding to Fire and movement, action. I’m looking at where I can DO more rather than think about doing more. Drawing and artwork comes first to my mind, and yoga (movement – that fire element showing up). Being present and open. It’s not a thought experiment. I need action.

Last night I was at the store with my son, and as we left I noticed a scarf, or hat left in one of the shopping baskets. I said “Looks like someone forgot something…” as we walked past. The person leaving next to us stopped and turned around, grabbing their purchases from the bag they left at the self-check out. I laughed and said “I didn’t mean you…” as they said “You just reminded me” at the same time. That was a great reinforcement of being open and present.

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Losing track of time

I’ve had a few Thankful Thursday drafts that were never completed. Now it seems 3 weeks, maybe a month, has past.

I started writing in my journal “Matters of Consequence” that my friend, Mandy, started doing. I’m not consitant with it either, but along with my Thankful lists, I’ve felt a shift in my life towards being more present.

I’m also working on a meditation practice. I spend 10 mins in the morning and before bed practicing Heart Coherence meditation, using an Inner Balance training device from HeartMath. I purchased the device myself, so this is NOT a sponsored post but my own observations. Working with the trainer on level 1, I could drop into and maintain coherance easily. After a few weeks, I bumped up to level 2. That was a challenge. I could easily go into ‘medium’ coherence but acheiving ‘high’ coherence was difficult. After about a month now I’m around 70% high coherence during my meditation times. It’s suggested to move up levels when you are 80-90% high coherence.

But what I’ve really noticed is during my commutes to and from work, I’m less irritable, more “go with the flow” (FLOW is big word the last month), and noticing more.

I recently completed Sktchy July’s 30Faces30Days lessons in Procreate. I learned so much! I’m taking a break from sketching on my iPad now though, but when I feel the urge to return I have a lot more techniques in my bag of tricks. I’ve signed up for the Inktober Portrait Challenge for October. I can’t wait to learn techniques and tricks for ink drawing. I think I’ve attempted Inktober the last 2 years, maybe 3, and never get through the end.