GentleSoul Arts

Living a Creative Life

Preparations

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I’m not ready for the holidays. Gifts and groceries are purchased but I still need to clean, bake, and plan the timing for preparing dinner.

This is the 1st time I’m hosting the holiday. First time ever and I’m in my 50s. My mom and I would go to my grandma’s as a child. When she passed, I would take my kids to my mom’s and my in-laws. My mom never came to my house for a holiday I can remember. This year my mother-in-law will be at my house. I’ve invited my oldest and their spouse, and my dad. I honestly don’t know if they’ll show up. Statistically, the odds are not in my favor.

I feel the pull of perfection. If it’s not perfect, there’s no point. But no one will care if it’s not perfect. If no one cares, there’s no point. It’s a slippery slope.

I remind myself the season (FER ME) celebrates the return of the Sun (the big fireball that warms our planet, not a metaphorical savior offspring of some guy beyond the clouds looking down with disdain). Days will length, and while it’s still winter and freezing, growth is occurring in areas that cannot be seen.

Sitting at the table as I worked from home yesterday afternoon, the sun finally shone through when the wind pushed the cloudy cold front south. The warmth on my back and the brightening of the workspace caused me to pause and turn my face to the sun. I thought of a cat in a sunbeam and smiled.

The feeling of the smile is what I’m focusing on during the next 1 1/2 days. I’ll clean my house because I want it to be clean, not solely for the fact I’ll have people over. I’ll do it for myself. Part of the foundation to begin 2023.

Author: gentlesoularts

Art & Corgis. Introvert. ISFP. Sketcher. Bike Rider. Ukulele. Dilettante. I'd rather be outside. Embrace the weird. Life is better with tiki drinks.

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