Yesterday I did some things outside of my comfort zone. I travelled across town to an area I’m unfamiliar with to meet with a geocachers group. I’m uncomfortable talking to people I don’t know or don’t know well, and initiating a conversation is torture.
But I did initiate a conversation, or tried to, with one person and was told multiple times “I have no idea what you’re even saying”. I’ve talked to this person at a few previous events and everything was pleasant enough. After this encounter, I was annoyed, frustrated and honestly have no intention of engaging with them again. Ever.
These emotions carried with me on the rest of my day. As I was telling my husband something, I was interrupted so I shut down. He asked me to continue what I was saying but I didn’t want to. I was on the verge of eruption. I had asked a question multiple times at the geocaching event, but no one answered. When I mentioned that, the attempted conversation and the interruption to my husband and how frustrated I am with being ignored or talked over, he went into “fixer” mode. You need to speak up for yourself, and say “Excuse me but I wasn’t finished with what I was saying…” How the hell is that going to work when I’m interrupted and talked over? I would have thought out of everyone in my life, he would be the most understanding of how difficult it is for me to speak to others in general, and have been supportive instead of mansplaining how I need to handle it.
I push the edges of my comfort zone only to have them reinforced.