GentleSoul Arts

Living a Creative Life

The Muse is Back

4 Comments

Today I’ve been caught up in a whirlwind.  I woke up later than normal since I have the day off work.  If you can call 7am late.  I fed the puppies, made coffee and my breakfast, and began my day like normal, checking social media and getting my 3 Duolingo lessons in.  [I’m working on learning Dutch currently. A lot of my artist friends are Dutch.  I want to be Dutch in my next life.]

I shared a post on my FB artist page that Chris Zydel had posted about not feeling guilty for not making art.  After I stopped bawling [sseriously ugly cry bawling] went to my studio to do half-ass something with paint.   My puppy Vision was under my feet the whole time, so I slowed down instead of the frantic paint flinging I so often get into.  That slowing down made me really look and think about my process.

I’ve taken so many workshops. Painting Big with Connie at Dirty Footprint Studios, Visual Quest with Pixie Lighthorse, Bloom True with Flora Bowley.  I’d love to take (and a bit scared to) an in person class with Chris.  I have a feeling I’d do a lot of [good healing \crying there. Plus a lot of little 2-6 week sketchbook workshops.  Art on a smaller scale than the big canvases favored by Connie and Flora. But with all these workshops with various artists, I feel like I’ve never found my own style.   I was constantly stuck on the Image portion of Flora’s technique.  I’m not overly fond of painting faces or figures.

But oh, mixing colors. Seeing how they blend, and contact, and complement.  For me it’s the most incredible experience. I’ve loved painting backgrounds, mixing and smearing, blending and scrubbing.  Then I tried to add some images and boom – STUCK.  I hate this, this painting sucks, why am I bothering, I suck.

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I become mesmerized by the blending of these colors

I get the ‘ugly teenage phase’ of a painting, but it seemed I lived there.  I would become discouraged, seeing the finish products of friends and think if I just show up, that’s an important thing is seems no matter show shitty my art was, I’d get through it.

So today I showed up.  I don’t HAVE to paint images.  I can paint the cool or warm backgrounds, and leave it at that.  I can paint my feelings with colors and blending, not faces, or pods, or leaves, or feathers.   Looking around at other paintings I have, which I’m not fond of, I’m getting ideas of how to rework them, and I’m excited about painting for the first time in months, if not years!

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This ugly painting is getting a do-over

I want to finish one canvas today before I start reworking one with an idea I have.  I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.

Namaste.

 

 

 

Author: gentlesoularts

A 40-something working mom of 3, happily married, wanting to find a quiet spot to art, burn incense & do some yoga.

4 thoughts on “The Muse is Back

  1. These paintings look absolutely wonderful.
    Great work!

    Like

  2. Hi gentle soul
    I know that feeling of not being “good enough” that changes amazement into frustration when you paint. But over time I got over the idea of judging my work. Abstract expressionism is a good way to do so : just you and your intuition, no standards, no rules. I paint for myself and the only way for me to free my expression was to free myself from academic rules like perspective, color scales and so on. And surprise I found that my attempts to do figurative painting turned out largely improved by these “exercises” …
    Namaste
    P.S.: your paintings are beautiful to me

    Like

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