It’s back to my old habit of forgetting about posting anything on here. Lately I’ve been thinking about death and funerals.
My aunt passed away earlier this month after being diagnosed with cancer. My husband and I went to her memorial service. I think it was a good service for my cousin and uncle, to bring them closure and comfort. It wasn’t my cup of tea though. It wasn’t bad, but I’m not your typical Conservative Oklahoma Christian. I find Spirit in all things, and while Jesus is a super cool guy and has been a part of my fantasy bowling team for the last 25 years, I can’t buy into the whole personal Lord and Saviour thing. I also love Ganesha, Kali, Thor, Cernunnos, and Bridget. Anubis, Bast, Anansi, Coyote, Athena, and Grandmother Spider.
To me, Spirit is like ice cream. There’s so many different flavors, I can’t only eat one for the rest of my life, claiming the others are wrong or inferior. Some days I may want vanilla, which would be better in a root beer float than something like pistachio. Another time I may want mint chocolate chip. Or gelato. Or sherbet. But it’s all a delicious frozen treat, regardless of recipe or flavor.
I started thinking about when I die, what would my memorial service be like? My other cousin commented on the same thing while we were in the service. I don’t go to a particular church, although I have church hopped for years trying to find a comfortable spot to land. I’m judgemental though, a known fault, and I would eventually decide the place wasn’t for me and move on. I would like to find someone who knows ME to do my service, someone who isn’t going to shove Jesus down the mourner’s throats.
Tomorrow I’m going back to a church I tried a few years back. I kind of remember why I left, and again, it’s relates back to me being judgemental of others. I’ll stay open and ask Spirit to change me into one who looks over the minor faults of others.