GentleSoul Arts

Living a Creative Life


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A Sick Cat and the Cup

It’s been a surreal week.  I have neglected my gratitude journal but once I have some time to breathe and catch up, I’ll easily write a page in it.

Late Sunday morning my cat Jet started acting odd.  He was meowing loudly, and David commented that he sounded like a goat.  Jet stayed in the yoga room, meowing and I’d go pet him. He acted like he was in pain and I thought he had eaten something that had caused a blockage.  I planned on calling the vet 1st thing on Monday morning.

Monday morning, Jet’s lethargic, laying in the shower and barely moving.  He would acknowledge you when petting him but he wasn’t able to walk on his own.  I called the vet as soon as they opened and they were booked up for the day as the vet was leaving early as well and sent me to the emergency pet hospital if I thought it was serious.

At the pet hospital, we found out Jet had a urethra blockage and I honestly have no idea how long it had been going on.  His body temp was about 10 deg below normal and he was severely dehydrated.  Essentially my cat was dying.  They were able to get the blockage out and begin flushing his bladder, which was full of blood.  He stayed in the pet hospital with fluids and a catheter for 3 days .

Now he’s at home and slowly acting more like himself.  I’m monitoring his water intake & urine output.  I don’t think his back to normal but he is peeing on his own.  Hopefully each day he’ll get a little better but we’re not out of the woods yet. He could easily become blocked again.   I have a pet water fountain on order that will double as a meditation fountain and I’m making the yoga room his little sanctuary while he recovers.

Then last night my favorite hockey team won the Stanley Cup for the 1st time in their 44 year history.  I started watching the Washington Capitals after I first saw Ovechkin play in the 2006 Winter Olympics.  I have watched them lose in the 2nd round of Stanley Cup playoffs more times than I care to acknowledge.  I happily ugly cried last night watching Ovie hoist the Cup.  It’s been a dream to watch this and I can’t even imagine how elated the team is!   Congrats guys!

Time to get ready for work.  I’m glad it’s Friday and I can spend the weekend with Jet.

Namaste


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Marketing IN YOUR FACE!

I’m a sucker for a freebie.  I don’t think I’m alone in this.  When a creative person offers a “free” workshop with various teachers, I tend to jump on board.  Of course, each teacher is going to offer a free gift with their course.  A PDF file tutorial or discount for their next workshop, just sign up with your email and you’ll get the free gift.  Along with all of their marketing newsletters, updates, offers.

The GDPR emails have me thinking, what do I really need in my life, email wise.  Some of the newsletters I’ve stayed on.  They’re unobtrusive, maybe one or two a  month or every few months.  Artists and creatives that I really love.   Others, holy crap, it’s like the pushy used car salesman that won’t leave you alone no matter how many times you say you’re just looking.

  • 1st email: Workshop offer
  • 2nd email: I wanted to make sure you saw my workshop offer
  • 3rd email: I really think you’ll love this AMAZING workshop offer
  • 4th email:  Here’s what others have said about my INCREDIBLE workshop offer
  • 5th email: Don’t let this ONCE IN A LIFETIME workshop offer pass you by.
  • 6th mail:  This is your LAST CHANCE to sign up for my workshop offer (until I run it again in 6 months month).

It’s frustratingly crazy and a little bit sad.  I get you have to put yourself out there.  It’s something I don’t do well, and I’m working on it.  But the IN YOUR FACE emails and notifications are wearing me out.  Like physically.  I’m exhausted deleting, unsubscribing and turning off app notifications because they’re a constant bombardment.

I’ll say No Thank You to the many free workshops that offer a variety of teachers, each offering free gifts and their own workshops, with multiple teachers offering free gifts.  (I’m getting an Amway vibe just writing that!)

Within the last year, I get to deal with a box truck with digital billboards driving down the road when I’m going to work.  It drives the speed limit, during rush hour traffic easily flowing 5-10 miles over the speed limit.  You get stuck behind this thing, forget about getting around because everyone is flying past you.

And algorithms.  These do kind of make me laugh because I’m on the computer a lot at work, looking up spec sheets for products we offer.  Now on my Facebook sidebar I’m being shown products I have no personal interest in, but had to look up information on it for project at work.

I don’t think my  little rant will have any effect on the amount of marketing shoved in our faces but I am being aware of it, and how I respond to it. It won’t go away but I don’t have to join the zombie mob slowly ambling towards the latest gadget, or workshop.

Namaste.

I have to chuckle that the spell check function doesn’t recognize the word “unsubscribing”


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Back to Steady

Oh, I feel like myself again.

After 3 days of socializing, I spent yesterday afternoon at home.  I made dinner, cleaned up the kitchen some, and was in bed by 8:30pm.  Sometimes I chide myself for going to bed so early but I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

I’ll be travelling for work today, and have a social event on my calendar this evening.  I may run into the person who upset me Saturday.  I won’t initiate a conversation, but I will probably say HI in passing.  It’s not in my nature to be rude intentionally.

I’m behind again on A Course in Miracles, but I have been consistently writing each evening in my Gratitude Journal.  Just a few things throughout the day that I’m thankful for.   It puts me in a good mind place before falling asleep.    As I build habits, I’ll add something when I first wake up instead expressing my irritation at the puppies for waking up so early.

Time to get ready for my day!

Namaste.


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Merry Go Round

I was leery of publishing my post from yesterday, but I’m glad I did.  Once I hit publish and closed my computer, I didn’t think much about the situation.  I watched TV as the puppies played until it was time to get ready for an Urban Sketching workshop.

For every down in life, there’s an up.  The workshop was great fun, and I was able to catch up with friends I hadn’t seen in 6 months, or more.  There were some new faces and I hope they begin to attend our Urban Sketching meetup.   We’re a small group right now but we’re also less than a year old.

After sketching at the workshop, I sketched some more at home in the evening, finished up a Buddha painting I plan on hanging in my meditation/yoga room.  I’ll post photos of it to Instagram this evening when it’s hanging.

I try to stay positive, and present a sparkly rainbow bunny to others, but I think squashing down those instances of frustration and anger cause them to brew and bubble.   Festering like an infection that you ignore until amputation is required.   I don’t intend to become a chronic complainer but speaking my truth in all aspects of emotions.  Events yesterday were good, and I enjoyed myself.  Honestly, events on  Saturday were good with the exception of a few interactions.

My intention for this week is to speak my truth, and work on being heard when in a group.   If I feel I need to be heard.   It is more fun to observe and note how others interact.

Namaste.


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Comfort Zone Edges

Yesterday I did some things outside of my comfort zone.  I travelled across town to an area I’m unfamiliar with to meet with a geocachers group.  I’m uncomfortable talking to people I don’t know or don’t know well, and initiating a conversation is torture.

But I did initiate a conversation, or tried to, with one person and was told multiple times “I have no idea what you’re even saying”.  I’ve talked to this person at a few previous events and everything was pleasant enough.   After this encounter, I was annoyed, frustrated and honestly have no intention of engaging with them again. Ever.

These emotions carried with me on the rest of my day.   As I was telling my husband something, I was interrupted so I shut down.  He asked me to continue what I was saying but I didn’t want to.  I was on the verge of eruption.  I had asked a question multiple times at the geocaching event, but no one answered.   When I mentioned that, the attempted conversation and the interruption to my husband and how frustrated I am with being ignored or talked over, he went into “fixer” mode.  You need to speak up for yourself, and say “Excuse me but I wasn’t finished with what I was saying…”   How the hell is that going to work when I’m interrupted and talked over?   I would have thought out of everyone in my life, he would be the most understanding of how difficult it is for me to speak to others in general, and have been supportive instead of mansplaining how I need to handle it.

I push the edges of my comfort zone only to have them reinforced.


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React or Respond

A few days ago, I posted on IG a sketch of one of my favorite personalities.  I was anxious as I hit the “share” button, but what the hell!?

I noticed a day later that the personality reposted my sketch! The first comment on her repost was “This disturbs me”.   Granted, I’m not an Artist… I’m an artist.  I sketch for myself, and I enjoyed doing this.   I was thrilled that it was reposted.

My reaction was “Fuck you” and after looking at this person’s profile (who is a photographer, hence also an artist) I blocked them.  Then I thought about my reaction.  Why would I block them?  To keep them from seeing my other sketches?  I post it for people to see.

So I unblocked him, and thought about why he would comment at all, if it truly disturbed him.  To get a reaction out of me?   What would that prove?   Why put the energy into the comment?

Then I thought about something I have seen before “Love it or Hate it, the purpose of art is to elicit a response”  I elicited a response (more likely a reaction) from this stranger.    I didn’t react back.   I didn’t respond, apart from this post.

Since I’ve started studying A Course in Miracles, I’ve been watching how I react or respond to situations.   This whole situation could have caused a huge grievance which I would dwell on over and over periodically for months, or even years.  “Remember when you posted that sketch and that one guy commented…”

But I don’t want to have that darkness lurking around.  I’m letting go of his comments, and of the other comments saying they liked my sketch.  Detachment.